Surrender?

So I had a nice, easy going blog about my recent adventures in Paraguay but then I decided to check out some people's blogs that I hadn't read in awhile. One of the ones I read was The Bradburn family (www.thebradburns.blogspot.com). If you do go there, prepare to cry, be amazed, touched, etc. Theirs is an amazing story of strength and hope. The most recent blog spoke of surrendering. This family is battling every day to beat the cancer that has hit their son. His mom writes of struggling with really, truly surrendering HER will that her son lives for GODS will, whatever that may be. She has chosen God's will.
Just writing that sentence makes me want to cry.
If she can make that choice, how can I sit here and fight God on so many things? Things that do not include giving over the life of my child? As I sit here with no REAL worries, yet worried about so many things. The little things in life that I make into catastrophes in my mind. The things that I need lay down for HIM to handle. Because He can do a much better job than me. But still.......... I struggle to surrender. I struggle to surrender my independence. My work in Paraguay. My future. My relationships. Each day is a new struggle.
But each day, I will choose to surrender.
Our lives are not for ourselves. They're not to make sure that we live every day getting our way, getting what we want. And it's not easy. I'm pretty sure I make my life much harder than it needs to be. Definitely ready to change that.

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in the knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ" Phillipians 1:9-10

"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?" Luke 9:25

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain